Success As Movement

I recently had the opportunity to contribute to a collaboration about the meaning of success. You can read the full piece here. But I wanted to share my part in it’s entirety as well.

Laying with my exposed belly against smooth sandstone. Late winter sun on my skin. Feet bare. I just dipped them in the creek flowing with frigid snowmelt. 

Today, I took a risk and spoke a hard truth to a roomful of strangers. I didn't shrink from the responsibility of calling out disrespect, but I also didn't speak from a place of defense. A simple truth stated with a call for accountability. I had no expectations on how my words would be met, I only knew they needed to be said. 

Both of these moments feel like success. 

The ability to unwind into presence. To feel the sensation of the world around me. I sat in stillness on the red rock in that winter sun and meditated, the Kali mantras rolling with ease in my mind. Chattering tourists, kids playing, the occasional jingle of a dog's collar- none of it distraction. The music of the world. And above it all, the rushing water. 

Equally, the ability to stand my ground, to rise in power. Not as a tactic of aggression, but rather asserting protection over a sacred space. 

On any given day, you could ask me "What does success mean to you?" And I would offer a different answer. Because I don't experience it as a defined sense of accomplishment. To me, success is a moving goal post. It's not as if I have one peaceful day or one good paycheck and say "That's it, I am successful!"

For me, it's found in moments when I choose patience over stress, when I relax into uncertainty instead of trying to control the details, when I listen to my gut and speak my truth instead of hiding from myself. 

Some days, those moments flow with ease. Others- I am fighting the patterns my nervous system learned to hold when it was trying to survive. But even that fight is success because I haven't given up. I haven't let my stories define me. 

Success is found in the every day choices we make and whether or not they are in alignment with our authenticity and integrity. And those choices evolve as we do- or at least they should.

I feel that trying to put a definition on success is a trap. It can ensnare us in close-mindedness, in treating every problem like a nail, and generally blocking us off from gratitude, from seeing alternate possibilities and perspectives. There is a rigidity that comes from thinking success only looks like meeting this one very specific goal. And rigidity is prone to snapping. To burnout. To loss of motivation and inspiration. But to move with the goal post itself, to witness the flow of life itself in a way that allows success to be found in small, miraculous moments- this is what really creates a life full of magic. 

Nowadays, the chase for likes, follows, subscribers- the constant need to be performing at a certain level- it sucks the genuineness out of the process and the joy along with it. There is no number that anyone will reach where everlasting satisfaction will be found. There is only yourself and how true you are to the spirit of the path that curves inside of you.

This is how we move from a place of chasing dopamine to generating dopamine.

And becoming the architects of our own happiness, of our own fulfillment- that is the journey of success.

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